There’s an overwhelming excitement for adventure that comes over me as I settle into my seat and await departure on a plane. It’s a feeling that I’m about to take on the world and leave everything behind. Whether I’m flying to my hometown in Idaho or across the globe to a foreign country, I’m at peace the most when I’m leaving somewhere and on the move.

Recently, this realization hit me like a ton of bricks on my latest backpacking adventure through Central America. During my intense soul-searching and “finding myself” journey, I started to question that maybe, just maybe, this overwhelming excitement for leaving and potentially never coming back might not be healthy. In fact, this might be something I could consider investigating further.

Why Does Running Away Feel So Good in the Moment?

Salar de Uyuni, Bolivia | A Wandering Foreigner

I’ve been traveling whenever and wherever I can for the last two and a half years. It’s been an incredible time that’s offered exponential growth and many life lessons. Rather than stay put and have roots, I’ve chosen to be on the move, always on the chase for the next life-changing experience.

I’m proud of my accomplishments as a solo female traveler, with the creation of this blog being one of them. Before I started traveling, I can honestly say that I’d never felt such a deep sense of accomplishment as I do today.

What I’ve learned over these past few years of traveling is that I thrive on hard work and change. I love a good routine, but I’ve perfected mine to be transplantable. I now take my routine and my work wherever I go in the world, and my physical location no longer matters, which is what I want for my life. I’ve learned to offer myself the perfect amount of routine and change through my travels that allow me to be productive.

But recent events have me questioning this undying love for constant change. I’ve started to question the deeper meaning behind it. Am I running from something? Or, another way to look at it, am I searching for something? And if I am, what is it?

All of this rambling is my attempt to provide you with an understanding as to why I’ve decided to settle a bit. Just a bit, though. As I said, I’m most at peace when I travel and am calmed by the idea of leaving, but I’m ready to battle my inner demons that have me constantly on the road and unwilling to stay put longer than three months.

Is Thriving on Change a Good Thing? Let’s Explore.

Photo credit: Dan Jackson

Change is a necessary part of life and the only constant we know to be real. Being comfortable with change and allowing it in your life is important, but thriving on change is entirely different. Thriving on the idea that you never have to commit, never have to open up, and don’t need to settle because something new is always coming your way, may not be the healthiest way for me to live my life anymore. When I started backpacking years ago, it was exactly what I needed. But something changed over the course of the year, and what was serving me then, may no longer be serving me the way it did.

I will always travel. It’s one of my biggest passions, and a little piece of me would die if I didn’t give myself the opportunity to see the world, interact with new cultures, and have new experiences. I know to my core that I won’t continue to be the person I’ve become if I don’t allow myself the chance to continue growing through travel.

Now, though, at least I think, travel might start to look different for me. I’m not entirely sure how it looks in the future because I’m still figuring that part out. I’m not a fortune teller, although I wish I was sometimes, but a part of me wants to unpack my backpack, own a car, explore what’s immediately around me for the moment, and see if I can come to terms with my desire to run away.

Show Up. Do The Work. Watch What Happens.

I’m writing to tell you all of this, my dear Wanderers because you’ve become my family and I feel it’s important to update family on life realizations and changes. My travels will continue, and the goal of this blog has not changed. I still aim to give you my best and most honest travel advice I have based on where I’ve been and what I’ve experienced. I have faith that this blog and its community will only continue to grow as I do, too.

I’ll be the first to say that I have no plan as to how my recent revelations might unfold. If traveling this past year has taught me only one thing, it’s that plans never play out the way we intend. I’m unattached to the ending and mainly looking to see what happens if I completely let go and just show up. I’ve made my intentions, but how those manifest is a matter of doing the work, showing up, and watching what happens.

Thank you for being with me through this journey. It’s a comfort to know that I’m not alone in this process.

-C

PS – Do you think long-term travelers are running from something? Leave a comment and let me know; I’m always curious to hear your thoughts!

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2 Comments

  1. Colleen

    August 23, 2017 at 11:27 am

    “All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost.” — J. R. R. Tolkien

    Taking on new identities while traveling for long bouts of time seems like running…
    Traveling as you are and expanding yourself if growing, not running.
    At least that’s what I’m thinking.
    <3

    1. Casey Colesworthy

      August 23, 2017 at 11:34 am

      Mmmmm this is good. I like it. Thank you 😊

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